With all my love
by Ranedropsonmywindowpane
Summary: Julian writes letter to Logan explaining how he feels but never sends them. How will Logan react when He finally finds these letters. Jogan!


Dear Logan,

My therapist thinks that I should start writing you letters that I'll never send to you. She thinks it's a way of sharing my true feelings with you without actually telling you. Can I just start off by saying that I love you. Yes I, Julian Larson is in love with a Giant Squid of ignorance. You frustrate me and you get me mad and jealous everyday but I still love you. Wow that felt amazing to get off my chest even if you will never read this. I've loved you since I saw you at freshman orientation and I'll never stop. I understand if you don't feel this way.

With all my love,

Julian

Julian stared at his letter in shock. He couldn't believe he wrote his feelings down like that. As Julian heard a sound coming down towards his dorm he quickly shoved the letter into his desk drawer.

"Hey Jules, have you seen my chemistry textbook?" Derek briskly walked into the room in search of his missing book. He walked to the other side of the room to the wardrobe and looked inside.

"Maybe it's in the common room," Julian suggested. "I'll help you look for it there.

Derek complied with Julian and the two went off in a deep search for Derek's chemistry book.

* * *

Dear Logan,

Today I was so mad at you. I saw you in the common room with the new Stuart, Stephen. You looked like you were having a good time, chatting him up. The truth is I get so jealous even if you look another guy. I know I shouldn't be jealous because you're not mine. This is why I always leave to go do a movie or an interview, or a photo shoot. It is because I can't bear to see you with another guy. Am I not good enough for you or something? There must be obviously something wrong with me if you've ignored me for this long. I just have to face the facts: I just not good enough for you. I hope one day that can change.

With all my love,

Julian

Julian stared at his letter for a good minute before slowly placing it into his desk drawer with the other one. He coldheartedly walked over to his bed and lay down. Julian sat there for about five minutes before he started bursting out in tears. Julian felt scared and alone, he just wanted Julian there with him.

Logan suddenly bursts into the room shouting "Hey Jules, do you want to go grab a cup of coffee with me?" Once Logan saw the state that Julian was in he quickly hurried over to his side of the bed and held him. At the warm touch of Logan, Julian quickly jerked out of his arms. He didn't want to be tempted.

"What's wrong? Why are you crying?" Logan questioned. Logan walked over to the other side of the bed and tried to stroke Julian's cheek but he wouldn't let him. "Julian, I'm your friend, please tell me what's wrong."

Julian got up and slowly wiped the tears from his eyes with his hand. "It's no big deal I was just rejected from this part in a movie." Julian lied. "Don't worry about it."

"Out of all the years that I have known you, you have never once cried like that when you haven't gotten a part." Logan said. He gave Julian a sly look and continued "What's really going on?" He asked with precaution and care in his eyes.

"It was nothing. Don't worry about it." Julian smiled to reassure Logan and to drop the subject. It seemed to work because Logan dropped the topic and moved on. Sometimes being an actor has its advantages.

* * *

Dear Logan,

So I have written you letters every day for the past two weeks and I'm getting kind of tired. I'm tired of spilling my heart out in these letters when I know the feelings will never be reciprocated. These letters were supposed to make me feel better about myself but they only make me feel worse. So, I'm done. I'm done with these letters, I'm done with Dalton, and I'm done with you. I'm going back to Los Angeles. And I know you will just accuse me of running away again, but I can't just sit here and pawn over you. I need to forget about you, and I need time. I am leaving on the next flight out of here. Goodbye Logan.

With all my love,

Julian

Julian looked at his letter for the last time and sighed. Instead of putting the letters in his desk drawer like the last time, he just left it on the top of the desk. He didn't care who saw them anymore, he just needed to get out of there. With one last look around the room Julian picked up his things and left Dalton for good.

* * *

It was a beautiful day on the Dalton campus and Logan was having a great day. He was off to his English class with his favorite teacher. He suddenly realized he didn't have a pen. His room was all the way on the other side of the building so he just thought that he would take one from Julian's room. As he was approaching his room he saw that the door was open. "That's weird." Logan thought. "Julian never leaves his door open."

Logan skeptically approached the door with caution. He slowly pushed open the door hoping to find Julian there. But what he got was a bare empty room. The only thing left were the letters sitting on the desktop. A confused Logan walked over to the pieces of paper. He picked them up as if they were the most fragile thing on the planet. When he read the first couple sentences he fell to the ground in disbelief. He re-read every letter five times over again until he processed everything. Logan completely forgot about his English class and the borrowed pen. He rushed back to his room and burst through the door. He immediately got on his laptop and searched for the next plane that leaves for LAX. He knew what he needed and he wouldn't stop until he got it.

* * *

"Cut." The director's voice boomed through the entire studio. Julian relaxed in his frozen position and headed to his dressing room. Once he arrived the set's personal assistant opened his door and smiled at him.

"Hey Julian, there's some guy here to see you." The assistant told him.

"If it's a fan tell him I'm not here." Julian was very busy memorizing his lines for the next scene that he had no time for fans to get in his way.

"I don't know. He says he knows you or something." She shrugged and her short blonde bob moved along with her as she exited the trailer.

When Julian heard that his whole heart sank and his whole world froze. The only person who knew he was here was; Logan. _Logan._

He dressing room door opened to reveal a blonde headed green eyed boy with a disappointed look on his face. He slowly approached Julian and mouthed the words 'I'm sorry.'

"What do you have to be sorry for, Logan?" Julian snapped. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"Yes I did, I did everything wrong." Julian was about to speak but a pair of lips crashed into his instead. It was nothing like either of the boys had experienced before. As their lips touched the cliché fireworks went off.

Julian slowly pulled away and looked at the green eyed boy. "I love you."

"I know. I love you too."

They brought each other into one more kiss but this time Logan pulled away.

Logan whispers into Julian's ear, "With all my love."


End file.
